He came in through the classroom window

It was one of the first really hot days of spring, so the classroom window was open. I was teaching my class and paying no attention to what was happening outside the window when, all of a sudden, I saw a man through the window. He wasn't just looking in the window; as soon as I saw him, I registered that he was climbing through the window to come into the classroom! After climbing in, he started strutting around the classroom, without any doubts, acting as though this were perfectly normal. I was not sure what to do about this. For all I knew, he could be a crazy man instead of the builder he seemed to be. I looked to the Chinese teacher for guidance, but she looked just as confused as I felt. We both, then, looked to the more senior teacher in the classroom and asked her what to do about this man.

The top teacher said that there was no problem with the man being here, so I tried my best to ignore his presence and continue teaching. After about five minutes of looking around the classroom (for what, I'm not sure), he climbed out the window again. At this point, I had to give up teaching for a while because the children all rushed to the window to watch him jump out.

The whole time that this was happening, though, I was completely amazed that it COULD happen. That a strange man could climb in through a window and walk around the classroom and then leave just as easily completely boggled my mind. There were no rules against this, as there would be in the United States. In the United States, I know that in order to enter a school, you need to sign your name and have a visitor's pass just to get in. Then, to go into a classroom, you would need to know someone in the classroom or have a very good reason to go in. A stranger would not be allowed to just go in and walk around with a classroom full of students. Comparing this knowledge of rules in America to my experience here, I think there is a good reason that I was surprised. Was this man allowed to come into the classroom? I believe that in this case there was no "allowed" or "not allowed", no "signing in". In these schools, everything is a lot more informal. So, if you decide to visit China or teach in China, be warned and be prepared.

And Now Let me Introduce To You: The Chevrolet Cruze!

Your hands are sweaty and you are shaking slightly. You look around and realize that you are on stage, in front of a crowd of people, and you are expected to perform. You do not know what you are supposed to say. You did not have time to practice or to prepare your lines and now you are on stage being watched and you need to completely improvise everything. Quick - you have two minutes to think about what to say! Wait, that is not enough - let's add something else to make the task even more difficult. You must address these people in a foreign language: Chinese, for example. But then you wake up and realize it's all a dream...

This, however, was not a dream for me. This was my day last weekend. It all started out as a great idea - no improvising in Chinese for me. My friends and fellow co-workers were invited to introduce the opening of the Chevrolet Cruze at a car dealership. Two of us - Sable and Bob (a Canadian teacher) would do the introduction in English and a Chinese woman would translate for the completely Chinese audience. The Chinese woman, Miao Miao, asked me to help her with the translation and go up to the stage with her, which was no problem. I knew I wouldn't be much of a help, since her English was better than my Chinese and it is much easier to translate from a foreign language to your own, but I agreed anyway. Then tragedy struck! Her boss called her over and instructed her to have me do the translation from English to Chinese completely on my own! As much as I protested and tried to put my foot down, Miao Miao was more afraid of the consequences to saying no to her boss than to me, so I had no choice. With two minutes to decide how to introduce a car completely in Chinese, I quickly scribbled some sentences on a piece of paper.

I was surprisingly not nervous as I went up on stage and waited my turn to speak. I listened to Sable and Bob's English introduction with a smile on my face, outwardly calm as I faced the crowd. When it was my turn to speak, I started with, "大家好！我叫 Abbie Kramer。 我来介绍一下这辆轿车". Which basically means, "Hello everybody, my name is Abbie Kramer. I am going to introduce this car a little bit". That earned me a round of applause because the crowd was so pleased that they could actually understand what I was saying. During the next part of my impromptu speech, I ended up covering my face with the papers that Miao Miao had prepared for me as I tried to decode her pinyin explaining the details of the car. That part didn't go so well, since I had absolutely no clue as to what I was saying. But, when I walked over to the giant cardboard cut-out of Wentworth Miller (the famous actor who does commercials for the car) and started to talk about his TV series, I said that he is "帅哥" (a handsome guy) and the audience absolutely loved it and started to laugh and clap. Having made my first joke in Chinese in front of an audience, I smiled, repeated it again, and continued. I then explained that in America, many people drive these kinds of cars (Chevrolets) and Americans think that these cars are wonderful, safe, and beautiful. Americans love these cars. (I do not know if it is true or not, but when you are trying to sell a car, I figured that it is fine to exaggerate a little). Again, I got a round of applause. And, finally, my speech was finished! I walked off stage with a smile on my face and a wave to the crowd.

And that is my experience selling cars in China. In Chinese. But, out of difficult things come rewards: I got a wonderful lunch and dinner, to walk around and see the largest private garden in the Jiangsu province, to do Karaoke, and to meet new friends.

Sharing a salad and other tidbits about Chinese culture

"I will make us a salad," my language exchange said. It was the first time that I had met her, and I had gone over to her house so that we could help each other - I would teach her English and she would teach me Chinese. First, however, was dinner. We were ordering pizza and she was making a salad for us. The salad was a normal, western-looking salad, but the way in which we ate it completely surprised me. She gave us each a fork and, being the American that I am, I waited for her to split up the salad into two bowls, or at least put some salad onto her plate. I waited in vain. She stuck her fork into the "communal" salad bowl and munching away. I could do nothing but follow suit. And remember - this is someone that I met for the first time that day! In the United States, the only people I share food with in that matter - two people eating from the same plate or bowl - are either my parents or extremely close friends. But that is the way that people eat in China - I just didn't expect it with a salad and forks!

I have, however, become so accustomed to parts of the Chinese culture that some of it has become ingrained in me. If you are ever in China, do not be surprised if people (even people you have never before met) ask you very personal questions about money. These questions might be anything from, "How much do people usually make in America?", to "How much did your necklace cost?" to "How much do you make here?" In the United States culture, money is a taboo topic; it is considered extremely rude to ask people about their finances, even if they are a close friend. In China, however, this topic is very open. Living in China, I have completely gotten used to talking openly about money, so when people ask me about it, it does not seem uncomfortable or even strange anymore. As a matter of fact, I have gotten so accustomed to it that I have started to ask others about their personal finances without realizing that it may seem rude to them and make them uncomfortable. For example, I was talking to one of my friends online and she was explaining something that she wanted to do, but didn't have enough money for. I was trying to figure out a way to help her, but in order to do that, I wanted to have a clearer idea of her money situation, so (as many people here have asked me) I questioned, "How much money do you make?" Although she gave me an answer, it was not a direct answer, but that didn't deter me. My next question was even more personal and direct: "How much money do you have?" After a long pause, I though that maybe I had said something wrong, and my friend said that she didn't really want to talk about it. That was when I stopped and really realized that the questions I had been asking, according to the United States culture, were really very rude. Oops! It is just in the Chinese culture that they were ok, which is why I even thought to ask them.

So, if I do not act "normal" according to the United States culture when you next see me or talk to me, please remember that I have spent the last year abroad and that I have completely gotten used to a new and different set of norms, rules, and a different culture. Do not be offended! And, it is also important to remember that when you travel to different countries (or interact with someone from another country) the same rule applies. If people do not act in what you consider a "normal" way, that is because the definition of normal changes depending on where you are. Perhaps you are not normal to them! When traveling, keep an open mind and do not be easily offended or shocked. Just learn to be laid back and have fun!

Dogs in America, Children in China

You might wonder, "How do Chinese teachers discipline the 30 or so children that they have in each class when the children are being very bad?" Here is what I have learned: the children in China (at least that I have seen) are punished the way dogs in America are punished when they are being slightly abused.

Of course, I have seen the children here punished in many ways. When children are being loud, not listening to the teachers, and are fidgeting and playing with their things, the teacher may grab the child by the jacket, kick over the chair, and haul the child to the front of the room. The child must either stand there for the rest of the class or bring his or her chair there to sit it. This is more of a mild punishment for the Chinese teachers.

I have seen many teachers go around the room with a rolled up piece of paper, threatening children who are not behaving properly. The sight of the rolled up paper inspires the children to quiet down and sit correctly in their seats (back straight, legs together, feet together, hands on their knees, eyes on the teacher). I have had children offer rulers to me when the other students in the classroom are being too noisy, so that I can use the ruler on the students to make them quiet down. I, however, could not bring myself to use the ruler.

The worst I have seen is when a child, maybe five years old, was being very noisy, so the teacher had him come to her desk in the front of the class. She took the English book (which is no thicker than a magazine) and slapped him across the face with it. The noise reverberated around the classroom and the children stayed silent the rest of the class period.

I have also heard stories: In one of my classes, the children were acting like perfect pupils the entire period. Not a peep was made while I talked. They raised their hands, they acted out what I asked them to, and they played the games I explained. We had a wonderful time. But, it was extremely abnormal for them to be SO good. Why? I wondered. Why are they so good today? Did they just decide to be good for me from now on? Unfortunately not. When I asked the teacher, she explained that the night before, some of them had decided that it would be fun to climb onto the table in their bedroom and jump off of it. When the teacher saw, she punished them by making them get back onto the table, go into a crouching position, and stay without moving for one hour. By the end of the hour, all of the children were crying. So, that morning, all of the children were sufficiently scared to be very, very good in my class.

As a disclaimer, I do not know what happens in other schools, in other regions, and in other parts of China. All I know is what I have seen in this school, with the teachers that I teach with. But I have heard that this is not abnormal. Teaching in China has prepared me for many things, but the discipline style has not prepared me for how to discipline children in America!

The SIFLS Family

Family is all about sharing experiences, making lasting bonds, and coming together, both for happy occasions and during times of stress. Although I am in China and a world away from my real family, I have the fantastic luck to have made a whole new family right here at SIFLS (Suzhou International Foreign Language School). This family is not made up of any blood relatives, and many of us are not even from the same country or continent, but we have all come together to create a home at SIFLS.

For those that are interested, there will now be a list of some of my SIFLS family members, as well as any descriptions I think might be interesting:

Grandma and Grandpa: Grandma Dolores and Grandpa Bob are from Canada. Because Grandma has grandchildren my age, and because she treats me like a granddaughter (such as inviting me in to talk after being out in the freezing cold, giving me hot chocolate, and giving me grandmotherly advice), Sable and I decided to start calling her Grandma. Since we call her Grandma, it seemed silly not to call her husband Grandpa, and there you go - a new Grandma and Grandpa.

Grandpapa: Yes, besides a Grandpa and Grandpa, I have a Grandpapa. Paul is a very kind man who I became close to when he helped me translate some things because I was sick and I needed to go to the doctor. His Chinese is absolutely amazing, having lived here for the past 25 years, so he can do any kind of translating necessary. He worked here last term and this term he lives and works in Hangzhou, so last weekend Sable and I went to visit him and we became even closer to Grandpapa. He showed us around and became our tourguide.

Naomy: A cousin. Every family has cousins whom you hang out with, and in this case, Naomy is a very fun-loving cousin. She is from Kenya and she is a great person to be around to have a good time.

My son: Yes, in this SIFLS family, I have a son. His name is Paul (different, of course, from Grandpapa). He is 3 years old and he is actually the son of a Mexican woman and American man who are teaching at the school. Because Paul is one of my students in the kindergarten, the children always see me with him and automatically equate a foreign child with a foreign woman (me) and think that he is my child. Therefore, according to all the children in the preschools, in the kindergartens, and even in the elementary schools (the rumor has grown considerably), Paul is my son. Even when I try to tell them he is not and explain to them, they do not believe me. They have made up their minds that Paul is my son and nothing I can do will change it.

Gricelda: Gricelda must be my mother. I didn't plan to pick up another mother, but I also didn't plan to have a son...She is actually Paul's mother, so if in this family Paul is my son, then she is my mother and Paul's grandmother. Which would make sense in the Chinese customs, with the grandmother always taking care of the children, dropping them off and picking them up from school, etc. Gricelda is very kind and sweet. Because she is from Mexico, she generously gives me the opportunity to practice my Spanish with her so that I do not completely forget it here in China. This time spent practicing my Spanish with her is one of my favorite parts of the week because it is so wonderful to just sit down and talk with her.

Then, of course, there is my sister - Sable: In China, Sable is considered my sister, my jie jie. In the United States, this kind of relationship would probably be considered more of a cousinly relationship. We do many things together - we travel together, we often eat dinner and lunch together, we explore Suzhou together, and we watch movies and television series together to relax. It is wonderful to have someone that I have known for longer than just this one year, someone who knows me better than everyone else, and someone that I can really relax around.

So that is most of my SIFLS family. There are more, but I don't want to bore you all too much, so I will stop here. Above is a picture of some of the people in the family, so you can get to know them a little better.

Yellow Skin

If someone had mentioned the words "yellow skin" to me a couple of years ago, the first association I would have made would probably have been Jaundice. After all, when one has Jaundice, then one's skin turns yellow, correct? I never would have associated yellow skin with Asian people. Now, however, that is the first association I would make. Why? Not because when I look at my students, my co-workers, and my friends I see that they have yellow skin. Quite the opposite. But because they all talk about and complain about having yellow skin.

Most of the people that I talk to who are Asian (and women) bring up their skin color and compare their yellow, dark, and ugly (according to them) skin color to my white, light, and beautiful skin color (again - this is all what they say - this is not my opinion). I often hear how much prettier my skin color is because it is white and how horrible their skin is because it is yellow. Because of this, or perhaps to make money off of this dislike for their skin color, there are many skin creams, face washes, and other products whose chief purpose is to whiten/lighten the skin. It is difficult for me, when I go to the store, to find a face wash that does not have a whitening agent.

I look around at my friends and students, though, and I feel that this is ridiculous. When I actually try to notice their skin color (which is only when it is brought up) it does not seem yellow at all to me, just as my skin is not really white - it is more of a pink. Their skin is not the color of the sun, or the color of a daffodil, or even the light yellow color of butter. Instead, it varies just like the skin tones of people in America - some of my students, for example, have very light skin - just like my friends who have to slather themselves with sunscreen before they go outside in the sun. Some of my students have the skin color of many children who are from Mexico or South America - very dark. As a matter of fact, many times when I walk around outside, if I am not thinking clearly I may think I see people from South America or Mexico because I see people with dark hair and dark skin. Only after I look closer (or start to think clearer) do I realize that they are actually Chinese. And, of course, there are skin colors that are in between. But yellow I do not see.

Calling attention to their skin color like that, in such a derogatory way, makes me wonder why they do not like the color of their skin. What is wrong with it? According to them, it is too dark, but is it really so terrible to have dark skin? I suppose that in this world, in this time period, many people to not see it as a wonderful thing to have dark skin. It is too bad, though, that so many women here cannot be happy with the color of their skin.

Coming back to school

Coming back to work after you have been on vacation is usually not something that one looks forward to; waking up early, making lesson plans, not as much free time, and actually having to work are not as fun as being on break and being able to do nothing all day. I can't say that I was really excited about going back to work, but I definitely wasn't dreading it. When I actually went back, however, and saw my children, I fell right in love with them again. I am ecstatic to be back now.

When my children first saw me come into the classroom, they were thrilled to see me. They ran up to me, hugged me, blew me kisses, kissed me on the cheeks, and chattered to me excitedly in Chinese. Many of them also repeated all of the English words they had learned last term, such as "Christmas tree". Now every time that I leave the classrooms, my students ask me, "你明天再来吗？" Are you coming again tomorrow? When I ask if they want me to come again tomorrow, they always say yes. It is very cute.

About every other day I go outside with some of my classes and I do the daily exercises with them (which I did not do last term). Going outside with them is one of my favorite parts of the day - I walk with the students outside and they all try to hold my hand. Because I only have two hands, though, one might hold my fingers, one gets my thumb, and then (because I have no more hand left), another might take my elbow. Then there are more children who take hold of my coat in the back. There are so many five-year old children hanging on to me that I can barely walk to the playground without tripping on somebody! When we finally get onto the playground, I feel like I am disturbing all of the other kindergarten/preschool classes who are also doing exercises there because all of the children stop whatever they are doing and start yelling to me. They yell, "Miss Abbie! Miss Abbie! Abbie 老师 ! Hello Miss Abbie！" When I leave, the same thing happens and I can hear them yelling my name the whole walk back to the school. It is wonderful - not because I love hearing my name so much - but because I am delighted that they like me so much. I must have done something right with them.

So although I was not thrilled to be finished with break, I am now completely over that hesitation. I am completely content to be with my students every day. I leave every class with them (7 classes each day) more cheerful than I started it just because of the time I was able to spend with my students.